FALLING FOR HIM

Sedikit ucapan sebelum sambung love story: kenapa I share the story with you all? Tak tau la napa for sure tapi I’d love to hear yours too so I think I should be sharing mine before reading yours. If you do have one, drop me the link. I’ll be there!

That when I was in Matric, PJ. He left PJ early so I thought he is one year older. Rupanya, dia lompat class masa PTS dulu. That’s why he is my senior in UIA. Living in UIA main camp, many friends of mine getting themselves a boyfriend. I was not really into it coz I don’t think he is my boyfriend. He is my friend, but a special one. I’m not sure what he thinks of me.

My first year in main camp, I asked him, abang ngah tak sayang zie ke? – that was after I hinted him thousand times that I love him, miss him, adore him, etc but he is yet to said so. I was embarrassed but then lega bila dia jawab camni, “kalau abang ngah tak sayang zie, abang ngah tak reply dah mesej zie. Sori abang ngah baru bangun...” Afterwards, mesej jadi bunga-bunga cinta la kan. Yelah before that main tarik tali, nak cakap good night sweet dream pun segan. I wonder how my face looks like back then. Sure merah kan? Malu lah I made the move. Tapi, terpaksa tanya.

The day before that, I heard my classmate talking about him like she is his girlfriend. I know she wasn’t but what if she is? Recently I did ask him about her. What happen back then. He admits that she try him. I mean she ask him out for meal, wayang, jalan-jalan. So I wonder what his response is. He said “takde ape lah. Abang tak reply mesej dia pun”. Meaning? Kalau he replied, maybe he will not be mine now, kan? Memang I jealous. He went to her wedding. I think he shouldn’t. Tapi, tak patut I stop him kan? Dia betul-betul takde perasaan kat kak Eton tu so why not he attended her wedding? Hahha. Since then I know that I pun kuat cemburu jugak rupanya. Tapi sampai sekarang I’m quite allergic – just hearing her name. I hate her. I really do. How come she likes my man? Dush!

Di sebalik itu, ada jugak baiknya… then I know that he’s quite hot, marketable and he didn’t simply fall for another woman. Sebab lama jugak I heard about him from kak Eton. Of course she didn’t mention it to me. I overheard je. You must be wondering how come kak Eton tu kenal dia pulak kan? I am a law student and he is engineering. Kak Eton pulak budak IRK – budak suci orang panggil – Islamic reveal knowledge. It was my bahasa class, so memang tu kelas campur. Pulak tu kak Eton tu x-classmate dia. Ceh. Patut la beria-ia cerita. Depa kenai rupanya. Satu sekolah. I memang jealous habis la time tu. Merajuk kot. Ok, walaupun bukan salah dia. My bad.

There is another incident masa kat pasar malam. Masa tu, he came to my house, meeting my family. That evening we went to pasar malam. On the way home, ada sorang budak tu pandang dia tak berkelip. Yelah I know his face is not familiar to orang kampung tapi tak perlu la tengok sampai camtu kan? Apa dia tak nampak ke I was there. I am not his sister! Rasa cam nak cubit pipi budak tu. Hii geram. Tapi, dalam hati happy la jugak. Hensem jugak mamat ni ye. Aku kat sebelah pun masih ada orang pandang. (ok, padahal dia dah macam laki orang. Buncit :D)

It has been 5 years and still I don’t really know if I really love him. Teruk kan? Bukan la tak sayang but I gave him half of my heart, I think. In case dia pergi dulu sebelum I, takde lah menangis separuh mati kot. Tapi, how would I know? In many cases, if I missed him – like a lot sebab dah lama tak jumpa – mesti nangis. I know it is not healthy but when it comes to heart, I can’t control, can I?

So, that’s all for now. I will post his letter for me. Tapi, later la k. I forgot the date but I think it was during my third year UIA.

Till then,

Bersambung…